The Imposter Syndrome
One of the benefits I've had over the last year was the exposure to inquiry based coaching. If you have an opportunity, or are curious about what inquiry based coaching will reveal, The Innerland Institute is a great organization who facilitates this type of coaching. It's a framework created to allow one to explore themselves, and the very thoughts or beliefs they feel rule their lives.
As a result, I specifically remember one session where we discussed the plague of "The Imposter Syndrome." A syndrome that we all can relate to, however not a lot of us truly understand the depths and impact of this syndrome. We don't truly understand the separation between who we are, and what we do. The discord we feel, and potentially the depression that comes as a result, is the body and mind feeling uneasy, and separate from who we are.
One way I've found peace in turbulent times, is to practice understanding the difference between who I am, and what I choose to do. Realizing that identity is driven by who I am, not the roles I opt to take on. For example in my own life, being a husband, friend, employee, son, etc. these are all roles I've chosen to take on, however are not my identity.
Take marriage for example. I believe that we all have the understanding that "I" make mistakes, that ones self is imperfect, and will at some point make a mistake, or fail. However, making a mistake as a husband seems to be an insurmountable offense, a level of failure that can seem impossible to reconcile. The biggest reveal is, if I see myself through the eyes of "I am me, I choose to be a husband" ... those imperfections, and mistakes are now apart of the journey, not proof of failure on the role I took on. Now I see myself as evolving, growing, iterating through the journey of life, not taking on an identity and failing at it.
As an aside, a really powerful side-effect of this outlook is our relationships with others. Back to the marriage analogy. Does a spouse want to feel like they are with someone because they are too stubborn to move on? Or does a spouse want to feel chosen, feel chosen everyday. Well, if I truly believe that I am my identity, and choose to be a husband everyday, my wife feels that choice, feels that I've chosen her, and that role.
All of this rambling to say, explore the difference between who you are, and what you do. You'll be surprised the headspace it creates. I truly noticed a lessoning of the friction between who I think I am, and the roles I embrace. I also notice more peace around what I choose to do and try.
More to come ...
As a result, I specifically remember one session where we discussed the plague of "The Imposter Syndrome." A syndrome that we all can relate to, however not a lot of us truly understand the depths and impact of this syndrome. We don't truly understand the separation between who we are, and what we do. The discord we feel, and potentially the depression that comes as a result, is the body and mind feeling uneasy, and separate from who we are.
One way I've found peace in turbulent times, is to practice understanding the difference between who I am, and what I choose to do. Realizing that identity is driven by who I am, not the roles I opt to take on. For example in my own life, being a husband, friend, employee, son, etc. these are all roles I've chosen to take on, however are not my identity.
Take marriage for example. I believe that we all have the understanding that "I" make mistakes, that ones self is imperfect, and will at some point make a mistake, or fail. However, making a mistake as a husband seems to be an insurmountable offense, a level of failure that can seem impossible to reconcile. The biggest reveal is, if I see myself through the eyes of "I am me, I choose to be a husband" ... those imperfections, and mistakes are now apart of the journey, not proof of failure on the role I took on. Now I see myself as evolving, growing, iterating through the journey of life, not taking on an identity and failing at it.
As an aside, a really powerful side-effect of this outlook is our relationships with others. Back to the marriage analogy. Does a spouse want to feel like they are with someone because they are too stubborn to move on? Or does a spouse want to feel chosen, feel chosen everyday. Well, if I truly believe that I am my identity, and choose to be a husband everyday, my wife feels that choice, feels that I've chosen her, and that role.
All of this rambling to say, explore the difference between who you are, and what you do. You'll be surprised the headspace it creates. I truly noticed a lessoning of the friction between who I think I am, and the roles I embrace. I also notice more peace around what I choose to do and try.
More to come ...
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